memory lane

so i forget what exactly started it all, but i ended up going through all my xanga posts.  remember xanga?  i think i started it junior/senior year of high school?  and stopped around junior year of college..

i remember joining the first [NYU CLASS OF 2008] group and how i'd spend time reading other people's blogs lols

things that made me smile:

taken freshman year with my bestie annie <3  

have known this girl all my life - our moms used to be friends before we were born.  she's in maryland and i don't see her as much but it doesn't mean that i don't think of her often <3

old convos:

Simon Oh: so how many papers do you have due tomorrow?
girrlnextdo0r: 3
girrlnextdo0r: all three of them on korea
girrlnextdo0r: each 3-4 pages in length
Simon Oh: that's not bad
girrlnextdo0r: and then i need to learn a semeste'rs worth of microeconomics
girrlnextdo0r: ahaahahaha
Simon Oh: ok, now that's bad
(may 2005)


everything's hidden on my account now, but there were a lot of things on there.  it's just crazy to think that everything still there but hidden was written by ME.... just a much... younger me.  the fact that all of those thoughts are archived somewhere on the internet like that now is also crazy.  it's like.. one day if i wanted to, i could give my daughter the password to that account and she would be staring at, word for word, my thoughts, my pictures, everything.. there.... in front of her...

i read entries about how i was so excited to leave maryland, to come to nyc.
and then entries about how i didn't feel smart enough once i got here because everyone else seemed so much smarter
entries about how isolated and alone i felt in the city -- it takes getting used to.
entries about my ex, when i first fell in love with him
entries about bad roommates
entries about experiences i had, including how a homeless man assaulted me on the subway late at night
entries about stressing over getting internships, and jobs, and what i wanted to be..

but it wasn't until tonight as i'm sitting here trying to finish my taxes and also complete a self appraisal (while reflecting on my blog), already tired while it's only 1:17am, thinking back to the college days where i pulled 3-4 all nighters in a row that i'm realizing how much we used to do when we were in college.... in the SAME amount of time that we have now...

how can i complain about having to do two fairly simple things when i used to juggle a full course load, directed a show, had a part time job, AND still managed to have somewhat of a social life? smh---

i need to be more active.
i need to hustle a little harder.
because i can do better.

3 down, 2 more to go.
xxmon