sasha p

aside from the beautiful clothes that walk down the runway, i've always been interested in the actual models themselves.  when i flip through all the books in style.com, i know most of the models by name.

lily d (who i posted yesterday) has definitely been one of my favs for a while, but so is sasha p.  i came across this video of sasha doing ads for Free People today.  i don't really love the brand itself, but this shoot reminded me of mark segal's shot of sasha with a baby tiger back in '08.

january '08, vogue

what's not to love?  she's amazing.
xxmon

back to normal

last week was a little stressful.with the whole neighbors drama, having to do taxes, a sore ankle, a major work deadline, and a couple personal things, come friday all i wanted to do was stay home.

and so i did.

but a girl can only stay in for so long, and i get cabin fever pretty easily.

danced it off saturday night and i'm feeling so much better.
although i risked making something worse before it got better, it was worth it.

cheers to a lighter heart, and a new week.

lily x one of my favorite remixes:


visuals:

xxmon

memory lane

so i forget what exactly started it all, but i ended up going through all my xanga posts.  remember xanga?  i think i started it junior/senior year of high school?  and stopped around junior year of college..

i remember joining the first [NYU CLASS OF 2008] group and how i'd spend time reading other people's blogs lols

things that made me smile:

taken freshman year with my bestie annie <3  

have known this girl all my life - our moms used to be friends before we were born.  she's in maryland and i don't see her as much but it doesn't mean that i don't think of her often <3

old convos:

Simon Oh: so how many papers do you have due tomorrow?
girrlnextdo0r: 3
girrlnextdo0r: all three of them on korea
girrlnextdo0r: each 3-4 pages in length
Simon Oh: that's not bad
girrlnextdo0r: and then i need to learn a semeste'rs worth of microeconomics
girrlnextdo0r: ahaahahaha
Simon Oh: ok, now that's bad
(may 2005)


everything's hidden on my account now, but there were a lot of things on there.  it's just crazy to think that everything still there but hidden was written by ME.... just a much... younger me.  the fact that all of those thoughts are archived somewhere on the internet like that now is also crazy.  it's like.. one day if i wanted to, i could give my daughter the password to that account and she would be staring at, word for word, my thoughts, my pictures, everything.. there.... in front of her...

i read entries about how i was so excited to leave maryland, to come to nyc.
and then entries about how i didn't feel smart enough once i got here because everyone else seemed so much smarter
entries about how isolated and alone i felt in the city -- it takes getting used to.
entries about my ex, when i first fell in love with him
entries about bad roommates
entries about experiences i had, including how a homeless man assaulted me on the subway late at night
entries about stressing over getting internships, and jobs, and what i wanted to be..

but it wasn't until tonight as i'm sitting here trying to finish my taxes and also complete a self appraisal (while reflecting on my blog), already tired while it's only 1:17am, thinking back to the college days where i pulled 3-4 all nighters in a row that i'm realizing how much we used to do when we were in college.... in the SAME amount of time that we have now...

how can i complain about having to do two fairly simple things when i used to juggle a full course load, directed a show, had a part time job, AND still managed to have somewhat of a social life? smh---

i need to be more active.
i need to hustle a little harder.
because i can do better.

3 down, 2 more to go.
xxmon

feeling much better.

their guests didn't leave until 6am, which was only followed by a full on fight between this ridiculous neighboring couple of mine.  it got pretty bad, meaning, the guy started throwing shit around the apartment.  i'm talking--breaking things, things falling everywhere, walls are probably punched in, made me jump and worry about the girl's safety next door (i will not have sympathy for this girl, i will not have sympathy for this girl).

it took a lot for me to call the cops at 1:30 in the morning.  to be honest i wasn't even sure how far it'd go.  i've never called the cops!  i'm not one to rat someone out like that.  but this was just too much for me to bear.

if it wasn't for my friend simon who happened to be online also, i really wouldn't have gotten through it (thanks simon, so much).

i just felt so... scared
and alone
and weak..
and helpless.


and angry, and defeated..

the cops never came into the apartment, and i didn't dare ask them myself to stfu.  last time i did the guy was so hostile, i just couldn't bring myself to do it.  if anything, that alone was justification enough for me to call the cops.  thanks nypd for nothing.

after this full on fight, it was 6:30 am.
without having slept at all (literally, 8 hours of lying in bed, not sleeping...) i decided to take a shower, because i knew if i slept now that i wouldn't make it to work.  might as well go early and if anything, leave early.

took a shower, but ended up passing out on the floor, only to wake up at 9:30am.  shit.
my eyes were swollen, head was pounding.. i wasn't gonna make it. so i called out sick.

my coworkers are the best.
the fact that i was even able to tell them what happened today, without having to give a backstory of the previous encounters with these neighbors from hell made me realize how much of a support system i have at work.  and regardless of any frustrations with the business we may have, at least we're in it together, and care about each other like that.  it was nice to have that today, and i was grateful.

on my way up the stairs into the apartment, i ran into another tenant on the same floor.  we've never met, but i asked her if she was bothered by these neighbors early monday night.  she said that she was away, but has had issues with their noise and just plain inconsiderateness in the past.  apparently when she's knocked on their wall politely to ask them to keep it down, the guy BANGS on the wall really hard.  ASSHOLE. >:O

i talked to my super and told him what happened.  i asked for the landlord and owner's information because i had filed a complaint with the police and i was really upset.  he said that he'd talk to the tenants personally and also let the landlord know.

ACTION ITEMS:
-write a formal letter, attach a hardcopy of the complaint that i made to the police
-have my new same-floor friend sign it (already said she'd be more than happy to), also citing that she's had problems with them in the past
-set my emotions aside, be strong
-hope that these fuckers never try to pull something so stupid again
-move on, and not let those feelings i felt that night bring me down anymore.

2 down, 3 more to go.
xxmon

goodbye winter

TAKE THAT.

311 / Service Request #: C1-1-639945312 / Noise - Residential

Service Request Number: C1-1-639945312

Date Submitted: 03/21/11 1:36:44 AM

Thank you for calling New York City 311. Your Service Request has been sent to the appropriate City Agency for action.



__________
it's fucking 5:30 in the morning, and the cops never came.
i haven't slept one minute tonight, and i'm not really sure i've ever been so fucking frustrated in my entire life.


all i can do is cry while their music is still playing.  it's been playing since 10.
i don't even know what to do at this point.

for better or for worse, in sickness and in health

i'm not gonna lie, i do enjoy being single.

yes, i miss the affection at times, but there's a lot of things about being in a relationship that i don't miss too.

being single makes me more aware of them, and i've since become a stronger person for it.

i've already mentioned how i've become more selfish.
the thing is, if there's a time period in your life that you're gonna be the most selfish, i think that time would probably be best now.

i want a family one day.  i want to be a (great) mother one day. those things about me haven't changed, but my being able to picture it has become much more distant in the last two years.  i think a part of that also has to do with being in the city, but that's another post altogether. i love new york, and i wouldn't want to give up the things that i've gained from being here and living the life i live now for anything else.

i'm just in no rush, i guess.

aside from being selfish and "stronger for it," there are still times when i feel really vulnerable and lonely, even with the support of the best girlfriends and a loving family -- when i'm sick, when i hurt myself, and when i get scared.  it's in those times that i miss having that someone the most.

no matter how tough and independent a girl could be/want to be, wanting to be loved is an inherent trait.

i do worry sometimes that i won't get it right, the whole balancing act. but it's not in my hands really, and so i have to let that go, the worrying.  i don't have a choice but to live.

love the way you lie

the original



i love skylar's voice.

Organizer: Katy Coleman

Subject: Planning and Distribution Work Study

Start time: Friday 3/18/2011 3:00PM-6:30PM

This is an excellent opportunity to:

Brainstorm Self Evaluation topics while enjoying the warm weather
Comp shop
Rejuvenate




...
..
.
thankful for my sweet-hearted boss.

south beach song 8-8-09

by Gary James

Sarah where are you love / angel from above / not on the beach

I'll bet you're sweet, sweet Sarah

Gary James is singing for your love

Out here with Jiin and Cheryl with a C / Judy and Eunice

Monica, Elissa, and Sue / I'm in love with you

What's a boy to do / Sue's got a sparkling silver bikini

Sweet Jiin if you're not engaged I'll propose and see where it goes mm mm mm

Blackberry girls living in a Blackberry world with their heads down / typing on the keys / Blackberry girls

We're all in love with Blackberry girls / we're all in love

Probably got a facebook and a myspace too checking every 5 minutes to see who's coming through

Blackberrry girls / we're all in love with blackberry girls / we're all in love

Texting while they're driving

Texting while they eat

Texting while they're loungin'

Here on South Beach / Saturday afternoon

It's 1:55

And i can hardly believe my eyes

So many asian beauties / such cuties

Sarah if you were here i'd be kissing all over you

Judy my beauty, sweet Judy, baby baby

Cheryl with a C's reading "The Last Juror" / she's the smart one

Blackberry girls living in a blackberry world with their heads down / typing on the keys

I'm not complaining no babies, I'm just wondering

Please tell me one thing

How come you're not texting me?

Blackberry girls, baby i'm begging

How come you're not texting me?

Blackberry girls

(9-5-4) 2-4-5--7-1-5-5 please text message me

mmm mmm mm

mmm mmm mm

---

missing miami.

23rd was a good birthday

24th was pretty good too.

how to top them all this year for my 25th (o m g i'm turning 25 this year.....)

stronger

i've always thought myself to be a bubbly and nice person--easy to read, easy to gauge.

but this year i think i've become slightly more introverted--

it's probably a result of living alone, learning how to enjoy time by myself, and not feeling odd for being alone. it gives me the time to reflect. i enjoy it, and doing so lets me appreciate good times with others that much more.

i feel more confident, more sure of things.

but on the same note, my tolerance at times dwindles, because i'm done being nice to those that don't deserve it.

in a world where everything is so accessible, things are instant and easy,

i've gotten better at filtering the things and people that are really important to me, and push the rest aside. i won't burden myself with that anymore--guess that means i won't be as "nice" as i was before. my instincts are usually right the first time.

i catch myself being bolder, more aggressive.

maybe it's the haircut (;

one down, four more to go.

xxmon

my weekend round up

honestly, i just had one of the best weekends that i've had in a while.

oysters and sangria at fig & olive

new haircut and gossip at maria mok

mango chutney with pomme frites,

level 9, pho32,

aripa benedictos and bloody marys at yucca bar,

brooklyn bowl, live bands, salsa dancing, fette seu..

good company + fun settings always equal good times.

i spent a lot of money this weekend though.

i probably spent more than i should've but it was well worth it.

but money spent on good times is the same money that could be spent towards harder times too.

so i've decided to donate money to the red cross for the victims in japan.

here's the link in case you'd like to donate too:

https://american.redcross.org/site/Donation2?idb=0&5052.donation=form1&df_id=5052

something to be grateful for

i found out about japan early this morning as it came on the news, showing videos of the devastating earthquake and tsunami that hit the country.

you hear every day on the news about crimes in the city -- murders, assault, robberies -- but it's the horrible worldly news that's so much more...removed from us.

have you seen some of these videos of the tsunami? cars, houses, buildings, airports, nuclear plants, all destroyed with the swish of a massive wave. PEOPLE in boats swallowed up by the sea within seconds.. can you imagine your entire world being washed away like that? nothing remaining... i just can't..

i was really sad this morning, realizing how helpless i felt, how pathetic my trivial problems from the day before are compared to anything that the people affected by this tragedy are going through right now.

i had no motivation whatsoever to do any work -- everything felt so.. insignificant.

a friend made me realize how lucky we really are:

HyeMi: i know...i've barely done any work today

but it's okay..it's friday

we have the luxury of reevaluating our lives on a day like today

it just makes me feel eternally grateful once again for ANYTHING and everything that i have in this lifetime. it reminds me how much i love my loved ones.

my prayers go out to the families and their loved ones in Japan

the sense that i need to GIVE more has struck a chord with me more than ever.

i want to DO something. i want to be a part of something bigger than myself and my selfish ways, because i have the luxury.

it's sad that it took something so horrible to make me feel so strongly about it. we should know better.

your hair is your biggest accessory

or so they say?

i can't remember the last time my hair was "short."

it's -always- been long, because it's always looked good long. but the real reason is that it's always been comfortable---long.

what am i so scared of?

hair grows.

i know you're not supposed to mess with a good thing, but i need change, and painting my nails another shade doesn't seem enough.

so i'm cutting my hair.

stay tuned.

(because i might chicken out.............)

edit 3/13: cut 7 inches. change is good.

letting go

Lupe ft. Sarah Green

a girl who has it all

Ivanka Trump.

"businesswoman, socialite, heiress, and fashion model" ---wiki

don't watch The Apprentice regularly but caught a glimpse tonight (it's pretty good!). Ivanka and her brother sit alongside panel with their dad on the show.

not that i've seen her in person, but she really seems STUNNING in real life. she reminds me of a real life Sloan from Entourage (love entourage.) well off, beautiful, smart, has a successful and powerful father which is probably the reason why she's able to handle herself so well in any situation. so articulate, so composed.

she's married and just announced in january that she's pregnant!

not gonna lie, definitely jealous.

Happy Birthday, Dad

today's my dad's birthday!

i wanted to make something special for him, so i decided to make a video (my first!) of our trip to hawaii. it was a lot more work than i thought it would be, but i really enjoyed making it.

he loved it.

and i love that he loved it (:

생일 축하 해요, 아빠 <3

Happy Birthday, Dad from mhl on Vimeo.

throwback - g.o.d.

found a bunch of cds at my house in maryland that i used to listen to back in the day. most of them weren't burned cds and were full albums.

i used to be a huge g.o.d fan -- in tribute to them, here are two oldies but goodies.

(:

w t f galliano?

dior just fired galliano over anti-semtic comments, saying things like "People like you would be dead. Your mothers, your forefathers, would all be f****** gassed"

link to the story here

A friend's boyfriend said it best:
Peter: isnt he gay
hitler wouldve sent him to the gas chamber too
freakin moron

peace and quiet

as if mondays aren't bad enough, this morning i woke up and dreaded going to work more than ever.

i didn't get much sleep last night due to my crazy korean fob couple neighbors that were so loud and obnoxious, which led me to become so fed up that i marched over to their apartment, knocked on their door and asked them to please be quiet at 3am in the morning. this isn't the first time that i've lost sleep over these two, but i've only spoken to them about it once before (just the guy, who was pretty friendly the first time around). the door opens, and i realize that the guy is now DRUNK (does he not have work on monday? wtf does he do anyways...), but it's no excuse for him being hostile with me. pretty much the second i told him that i had just woken up due to how loud they were being, he threatened me and said that he doesn't really care much for what i have to say, and that if i wanted to call the cops that i should go ahead and do it. the girlfriend, realizing that i'm complaining about the noise started apologizing immediately and asked me not to say anything, as she's physically holding her boyfriend back from stepping forward. honestly, i wasn't really SCARED but this guy is just a complete punk, and i hate him so much. drunk or not drunk, what a coward to act that way. what was he gonna do, hit me?

not to mention that after i asked them to keep it down and went back into my apartment, the guy tried to crank up his music (now 4am in the morning) definitely just to spite me. i could hear the girlfriend asking him to quit it and he only lowered it slightly. this guy's even hit our adjacent wall so hard that my hanging paintings started to shake. pretty much he's just scum, and he makes me so ridiculously angry.

so while at work today i kept contemplating whether or not i should call management about it. to be honest, the guy's loud voice and hostility towards me does scare me somewhat, given that i live by myself and clearly he's not mature enough to realize that he shouldn't be so inconsiderate of others. their apartment is adjacent to mine and to be honest, he could easily come through my window from the balcony that we share... and... god knows what..

i wanted to resolve the issue but not create more drama with these people. after all, being a good neighbor is so much easier when you have good neighbors. home is supposed to be a place of relaxation. i don't want to be stressing out about these two, let alone lose sleep because of them. it's just not right.

after work i decided to get coffee since i was exhausted, but needed energy to write a formal complaint to management. i came home, and was about to make soup that i had bought yesterday. i'm looking around and i can't find the two cans of my favorite amy's soup but i swear i brought them home from the store. i find the receipt and confirm that i bought them, but they're no where to be found! the grocery store is literally a block away from my apartment, so i figured it wouldn't hurt to ask them just in case. when i start explaining to the manager that i might've left my soup at the store for whatever reason, she looked straight at me and didn't even hesitate when she said that i could take the two that i had bought yesterday off the shelves, no problem.

yeah, i know it's just soup (2 cans were almost $6!), but here's a complete stranger believing what i had to say, and pretty much replacing something that she didn't have a reason why she had to believe me. her act of kindness put such a smirk on my face, mostly because i still can't figure out what happened to my two cans that i bought.. and how silly it all was lols. being in such a good mood i didn't feel like sitting down to write the complaint to management, and headed to the gym instead.

went to the gym, came home, showered, worked on a project that i've started and it's now almost 1:30am and i've noticed through the thin walls that the couple next door have definitely been doing their best to keep it down. i can barely hear them!

all that stressing at work wasn't worth it, and i need to let go of things more easily.

i'll forgive them, and not call management this time.

but i won't forget--and if they cause another ruckus, i'm calling the cops.

in the meantime, i'm just glad i have my peace and quiet back.

(: one down, four more to go

xxmon